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I was looking for a scary vampire story. You’re probably thinking, “duh, Salem’s Lot
, you idiot!” Well smartypantses, that was my first choice too . . . and then “The Cloud” ate it.
Whoever decided we should put our faith in clouds anyway? They aren’t very stable.
Anywho, since the geniuses at Amazon (all hail Amazon!) couldn’t solve my problem all lickity splitty like I demanded (don’t they know who I am? I have fives of followers who want to know what I’m reading), I decided to pick up another vampire book and prepared to get all scurrrrred with The Radleys
Jokes on me! This one wasn’t scary at all . . . but it was awesome
. The Radleys
take all of the redonkulous things there are to complain about when it comes to vampire stories and turns them on their ear. To begin with, the Radley family members are vegetarians . . . .
No, not that kind. You know what I’m talking about. The dreaded vampire vegetarian . . .
No blood, no foul, right? Well, it was up until the Radley teens started pubing out and discovered some of their buddies might actually be “their own personal brand of heroin” . . .
Ahhhh, if only everyone could be as restrained as Edward Cullen and be satisfied to simply stalk the girl of their dreams . . .
Such is not the case with the Radleys, however, and a little
accident happens . . . .
Leading the Radley parents to seek some outside help in order to
explain what’s going on with the children. Enter Uncle Will – who for whatever reason I pictured as something kinda like this . . .
Well, without the extra face on the back of his head and all that jazz. Thank you, brain!
Wes Bentley? Good right?
Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, making a picturebook.
So anyway, Uncle Will arrives to
save the day
introduce us to some more vampire clichés . . .
and eventually all the skeletons (figuratively, not literally) come tumbling out of the closet, resulting in a most delightful twist on a book about family. Highly recommended to anyone looking for a different kind of vampire story.