Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

By Jarod Kintz

4.09 - ratings 82

Cupid, that chubby cherub love dispenser, is dead. But before he died, he appointed me his apprentice in love. I loved Cupid, and that was precisely why I killed him. I strangled him. Then I shot him 17 times with his heart-shaped arrows. Then I burned his body while I roasted and toasted marshmallows and toasted to the good times he brought to the world. Then I took his a Cupid, that chubby cherub love dispenser, is dead....

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(first published October 26th 2011)

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Quotes From "Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81."

"She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse "I love you" with "May I take your order?"
"You tell me you love me, but I’m not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how much it resembles a UFO, or what kind of weapon you’d use to shoot it down."
"The only drink I like ice in is water, because you can’t water down water. I’m like that with love, too. Don’t you dare add any ice to the hot liquid loving I’m trying to pour all over you."
"Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground."
"You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it. But first, let me introduce myself."
"I wanted to tell her “I love you” back, but I guess in waiting for the perfect moment (the next commercial break), I ended up completely forgetting."
"We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off."
"Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag."

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