Surely more than once in my life, I wish to become someone with a better and more perfect life. But everything has a price, and the desire to "become someone else" is no exception.
Have you ever looked at someone's life with jealousy, envious enough that for a moment or two (or so) you wish you could be that person? Michelle Obama with a combination of charm and warmth; George Clooney is stylish, attractive and has a sense of humor; Usain Bolt or Lionel Messi or any other sports icon.
Or maybe someone who is not famous at all, just someone you know they have an enjoyable life: a challenging and exciting job, a warm and attractive life partner, a spacious apartment and have nice vision (and yes, even the habit of checking before traveling). Are there moments when, given the chance to be them, will you be tempted by that opportunity?
Do we really want this? And what will we learn about ourselves or how we view our life if we really consider it? Do we get remorse?
Surely there will be confusion here. If you live someone else's life, who will raise your children or love your husband for you or take care of your parents when they are old? The truth is, if you changed yourself into someone else, your child wouldn’t exis. That was not a very happy thought. To get around this problem, perhaps the best way is to do it in the form of a transaction: you live someone else's life, they will live your life, and live the way you did. All your responsibilities will be fulfilled, so there's nothing to feel guilty or remorse about.
If we think about it this way, then the question of wanting to be someone would be the question of what we might call experience: is there someone else possessing the experiences you want to have, let's say as everything else is similar?
I think, after self-examination, most of us would not want to communicate with others whether their lives just seem successful or engaging or even truly successful or engaging. However, to know the reason, we should still change our perspective. We must look at our own experiences rather than that of others, or perhaps, we should look at our own experiences first. What are we willing to give up in order to become someone else? Relationships with people - children, husbands (lovers), friends - and whole past memories. I won't tolerate that. My loss will also be my whole experience.
27 Quotes About Remorse
1. “Yet each man kills the thing he loves. By each let this be heard. Some do it with a bitter look. Some with a flattering word. The coward does it with a kiss. The brave man with a sword” - Oscar Wilde
2. “One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.” - Shannon L. Alder
3. “Chronic remorse, as all the moralists are agreed, is a most undesirable sentiment. If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your wrongdoing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.” - Aldous Huxley
4. “But sorry is the Kool-Aid of human emotions. [...] True sorrow is as rare as true love.” - Stephen King
5. “Oh Lestat, you deserved everything that's ever happened to you. You better not die. You might actually go to hell.” - Anne Rice
6. “Because no retreat from the world can mask what is in your face.” - Gregory Maguire
7. “Never apologize, mister, it’s a sign of weakness.” - John Wayne
8. “I thought about the days i had handed over to a bottle..the nights i can't remember..the mornings i slept thru..all the time spent running from myself.” - Mitch Albom
9. “And no, it wasn't shame I now felt, or guilt, but something rarer in my life and stronger than both: remorse. A feeling which is more complicated, curdled, and primeval. Whose chief characteristic is that nothing can be done about it: too much time has passed, too much damage has been done, for amends to be made.” - Julian Barnes
10. “When we are mired in the relative world, never lifting our gaze to the mystery, our life is stunted, incomplete; we are filled with yearning for that paradise that is lost when, as young children, we replace it with words and ideas and abstractions - such as merit, such as past, present, and future - our direct, spontaneous experience of the thing itself, in the beauty and precision of this present moment.” - Peter Matthiessen
11. “In my terms, I settled for the realities of life, and submitted to its necessities: if this, then that, and so the years passed. In Adrian's terms, I gave up on life, gave up on examining it, took it as it came. And so, for the first time, I began to feel a more general remorse - a feeling somewhere between self-pity and self-hatred - about my whole life. All of it. I had lost the friends of my youth. I had lost the love of my wife. I had abandoned the ambitions I had entertained. I had wanted life not to bother me too much, and had succeeded - and how pitiful that was.” - Julian Barnes
12. “Remorse is a terrible thing to bear, Pam, one of the worst of all punishments in this life. To wish undone something you have done, to wish you could look back on kindness to someone you love, instead of on unkindness - that is a very terrible thing.” - Enid Blyton
13. “Truly there are different kinds of pain. But the most agonizing is the pain of regret, for which there is no lasting relief and no remedy.” - Richelle E. Goodrich
14. “After each dream, Frankie woke with a start, soaked in tears. But she found no relief in the peaceful silence of her room, because there everything was real. And the guilt was too immense to bear. Each time she opened her eyes, she'd quickly shut them. And wish that she had woken up for the very last time.” - Lisi Harrison
15. “Humility is the only thing that can restore a relationship, when respect has been lost.” - Shannon L. Alder
16. “Remorse, etymologically, is the action of biting again: that's what the feeling does to you. Imagine the strength of the bite when I reread my words. They seemed like some ancient curse I had forgotten even uttering.” - Julian Barnes
17. “Be quiet! Anyone can spit in my face, and call me a criminal and a prostitute. But no one has the right to judge my remorse.” - Jean-Paul Sartre
18. “Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind, But it is very difficult to treat because it cannot even be defined, Because everything is not gold that glisters and everything is not a tear that glistens, And one man's remorse is another man's reminiscence” - Ogden Nash
19. “The paint is drying, and time is dying. The pain is crying, lying on my back, trying to get back the time, to brushstrokes too fast, wet went dry and love went dull; now I live in a portrait I never painted.” - Anthony Liccione
20. “Apologizing is different from begging, it doesn't change your status, go ahead and get on your knees, spill tears if you got it, for the person you offended, if at all you had a place in their hearts, you'll be totally forgiven and accepted.” - Michael Bassey Johnson
21. “You have to understand that only the very worst end up here: the ones whose anger made them kill, and who felt no sorrow or guilt after the act; those so obsessed with themselves that they turned their backs on the sufferings of others, and left them in pain; those whose greed meant that others starved and died. Such souls belong here, because they would find no peace elsewhere. In this place, they are understood. In this place, their faults have meaning. In this place, they belong.” - John Connolly
22. “I did not want to be taken for a fool – the typical French reason for performing the worst of deeds without remorse.” - Jules Barbey d'Aurevilly
23. “His remorse was purely physical. Only his body, strained nerves, and cowering flesh were afraid of the drowned man. Conscience played no part in his terrors, and he had not the slightest regret about killing Camille; in his moments of calm, when the spectre was not present, he would have committed the murder over again had he thought his interests required it.” - Émile Zola
24. “In my dream, people apologized for things that were about to happen, and lit candles by inhaling.” - Jonathan Safran Foer
25. “I don't think that incident necessarily defines you as bad. I think it makes you human. And I believe you would have stopped yourself. I think that's what makes a person good. Not that you make mistakes, but that you recognize them. You feel remorse for them. You want to correct them and do better.” - veronica rossi
26. “...I am a person who believes in form, in the harmony of order. Where we can, we must give things a meaningful shape. [...] It is important in life to conclude things properly. Only then you can let go. Otherwise you are left with words you should have said but never did, and your heart is heavy with remorse..."
~Life of Pi, chapter 94” - Yann Martel
27. “You took a life and the theft went unpunished. God didn't strike you down. The sky didn't fall. The morning after, you turned on the faucet and water still came out... It was still good when you raised your arm for a cab and one came towards you out of the flow like magic. You did things that were supposed to end you and found they were only things that changed you. It was a disappointment and a revelation and a bereavement and a new thrilling nudity. It was the basic prosaic obscenity: You kept going.” - Glen Duncan
When people are old, what is the most remorse?
When we are young, our life is often absorbed in the whirlwind of fame, gain, money, love. When I got old, I was about to "be near the earth far from heaven", I suddenly realized it is too late to get remorse of something I made.
Working hard and forget sharing love
In life, we spend almost 1/3 of our life on work, sacrificing for work. However, many people still try to find more jobs, work overtime, take advantage of their free time to have more income, ... with the aim of supporting their families, giving their children a better life.
They feel remorse that they did not care about the maturity of their children and did not cultivate the happiness of a couple. Because they always put work first. They never relax with their family and take care of themselves.
They themselves are like a machine never resting, only when they are about to return to "dust" do they feel regret about the past.
Remorse because of not preserving and nurturing the friendship
Friends are people who know your flaws well and still find you great. A friend will love you even if you're not perfect. Friends are the ones who are there when you need help. Friends are also someone who can say "no" to you and your relationship is still good.
However, when people are young, they do not realize the true value of old friends until before their death, then they cannot find it again. Many people are so concerned about their own lives that they let their golden friendships slip away. Before dying, everyone remembers their friends.
Friendship is a magical feeling, where souls get in tune with each other without thinking of benefits or responsibilities. Don't let you get remorse of not having even one real friends in your life.
Remorse for not giving proper attention to your children
The most common regret comes from parents not spending a lot of time with their children when they were young. They have missed the opportunity to fully witness each stage of adulthood. Many parents have rushed to work with the belief that they are trying to improve the family economy, considering it the first goal and responsibility.
However, finance is not everything, there are times that will never come back, those are the adulthood stages of a child, which are also the happy milestones of a family. So please cherish it when possible.