Victor Gischler Quotes
“Mortimer had maxed three credit cards stocking the cave with canned goods and medical supplies and tools and everything a man needed to live through the end of the world. There were more than a thousand books along shelves in the driest part of the cave. There used to be several boxes of pornography until Mortimer realized that he'd spent nearly ten days in a row sitting in the cave masturbating. He burned the dirty magazines to keep from doing some terrible whacking injury to himself.”
“Don’t you feel it? History is thrusting us into the path of … something. I don’t know. Really, I’m not sure how to explain, but can’t you sense it? The world is being tossed into chaos, and there are just us select few who see it, who can do something, and if we don’t … well, I’m not sure the gods will forgive us. That we would be offered this chance and then cower. I can’t believe it. I won’t. We must rise to the occasion.”
“I never pay for Chinese food."
"Because it's my favorite."
"I started eating it all the time.....It became less special. It got old. It was my favorite, but it got old and dull, and your favorite's not supposed to do that. So I decided I'd never buy it again. It could only be a gift. And now its special again. Like Christmas."
"You're a philosopher, Charlie."
"Philosophy is just tricks you play on yourself to through the week.”
“I twisted my head to look at the girl. With one hand she held a wide straw hat to her head. The other held an umbrella drink in a curvy glass. She wore big movie-star sunglasses, tall, a reddish-new tan. White bikini bottoms. No top. Just boobies. “Uh . . . hi.” “Hi,” she said. Then there was this shirtless fat guy at her side. He didn’t have a top either, but his boobies were harrier. He was hot pink with sun burn, wore a new moustache like a smear of brown crayon. His ball cap said Kiss the Captain.”
- Description: Victor Gischler is an American author of humorous crime fiction.
Gischler's debut novel Gun Monkeys was nominated for the Edgar Award, and his novel Shotgun Opera was an Anthony Award finalist. His work has been translated into Italian, French, Spanish and Japanese. He earned a Ph.D. in English at the University of Southern Mississippi. His fifth novel Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse was published in 2008 by the Touchstone/Fireside imprint of Simon & Schuster.
He has also writes American comic books like The Punisher: Frank Castle, Wolverine and Deadpool for Marvel Comics. Gischler worked on X-Men "Curse of the Mutants" starting in the Death of Dracula one-shot and continued in X-Men #1.
Gun Monkeys has been optioned for a film adaptation, with Lee Goldberg writing the script and Ryuhei Kitamura penciled in to direct.