Sue Townsend Quotes

• “There's only one thing more boring than listening to other people's dreams, and that's listening to their problems.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “She liked people. Me, I can take them or leave them, but mostly leave them.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “Now I know I am an intellectual. I saw Malcolm Muggeridge on the television last night, and I understood nearly every word. It all adds up. A bad home, poor diet, not liking punk. I think I will join the library and see what happens.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “The monarchy is finished. It was finished a while ago, but they're still making the corpses dance.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “8.45 a.m. My mother is in the hospital grounds smoking a cigarette. She is looking old and haggard. All the debauchery is catching up with her.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “Will you lie to me and promise to read them? Books need to be read. The pages need to be turned.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “I have a problem. I am an intellectual, but at the same time I am not very clever.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “I've always loved books. I'm passionate about them. I think books are sexy. They are smooth and solid and contain delightful surprises. They smell good. They fit into a handbag and can be carried around and opened at will. They don't change. They are what they are and nothing else. One day I want to own a lot of books and have them nbear to me in my house, so that I can stroll to my bookshelves and choose what I fancy. I want a harem. I shall keep my favourites by my bed.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “I don't know why women are so mad about flowers. Personally, they leave me cold. I prefer trees.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “Adrian Mole's diary
  Easter
  Poor Jesus, it must have been dead awful for him. I wouldn't have the guts to do it myself.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “Adrian Mole's father was so angry that so many pepole got divorced nowadays. HE had been unhappilly married for 30 years, why should everybody else get away?”

  Sue Townsend

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• “I used to be the sort of boy who had sand kicked in his face, now I'm the sort of boy who watches somebody else have it kicked in their face”

  Sue Townsend

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• “I always knew I had no small talk, and now I know I've got no big talk either.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “My skin is dead good. I think it must be a combination of being in love and Lucozade.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “Personally, nothing would surprise me any more. If my father announced that he was really a Russian agent or my mother ran away with a circus knife thrower, I wouldn't raise an eyebrow.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “Pauline: "All under-fives are mad Adrian, you used to talk to the moon. You invited it to your birthday party and cried when it didn't turn up."
  George: "When it went dark and the moon came up, you ran outside and threw a sausage roll at it!”

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• “To unlock the heavy outer door and to walk into the hushed interior, with the morning light spilling from the high windows on to the waiting books, gave her such pleasure that she would have worked for nothing.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “I have realised I have never seen a dead body or a real female nipple. This is what comes of living in a cul-de-sac.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “Had a note from Mr Cherry asking me when I can resume my paper round. I sent a note back to say that due to my mother's desertion I am still in a mental state. This is true. I wore odd socks yesterday without knowing it. One was red and one was green. I must pull myself together. I could end up in a lunatic asylum.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “Mrs. Ball has got a daughter who is a writer. I asked her how her daughter qualified to be one. Mrs. Ball said that her daughter was dropped on her head as a child and has been "a bit queer" ever since.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “My mother is now in the hospital 60 miles away, where they are treating her pneumonia. I refuse to feel guilty. Guilt is a destructive emotion and doesn't fit in with my Life Plan.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “Mrs O'Leary said, 'Tis the child I feel sorry for', and all the people looked up and saw me, so I looked especially sad, I expect the experience will give me a trauma at some stage in the future. I'm all right at the moment, but you never know.”

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• “She was alone.
  She missed him immediately.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “Your trouble is, you want to be happy all the time. You're fifty years old -- haven't you realized yet that most of the time most of us just trudge through life? Happy days are few and far between.”

  Sue Townsend

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• “It has just been on the news that a man has been found in the Queen’s bedroom. Radio Four said that the man was an intruder and was previously unknown to the Queen. My father said: ‘That’s her story.”

  Sue Townsend

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