“We need to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn't matter, but work is third.”
“The library is the worst group of people ever assembled in history. They're mean, conniving, rude, and extremely well-read, which makes them dangerous.”
“Pawnee: First in Friendship, Fourth in Obesity”
“I asked the U.S. Geological Survey to assist us in finally determining just how deep Devil's Fissure is [...] they refused, checking off the boxes marked "Budget Constraints" and "Gross Indifference.”
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