Kristina Kuzmic Quotes
“It is an act of love to listen to a sad story someone is telling about themselves and then help them spin it so it’s maybe a little less sad and a little more meaningful. It can be both simple and profound to step up and be someone’s emotional PR rep. As much as you might want to, you can’t fix someone else’s problems for them and it doesn’t make anyone feel better to hear that their situation isn’t as bad as it seems, so resist the misguided impulse to recast their reality for them that way. But just listening without judgment and reframing their narrative with compassion is one of the kindest things you can do for your children, your spouse, and especially yourself.”
“There is strength in kindness. Kindness comes from a deeper place of morals and values, of wanting to do the right thing because ultimately it betters the world. Kindness is looking out for other humans by doing what might make some people or myself uncomfortable in the short term, like exposing sexist, derogatory pigs for what they are.”
“I want to live in a world where gay children don't have to feel like outsiders, don't have to play be different rules, and don't have to prepare a big coming-out speech or be terrified of whether or not their mom and dad will love and embrace them for who they are. I want to live in a world where everyone comes out. Every one. Gay and straight. A world where parents wouldn't assume anything. We wouldn't suspect or gossip. We would wait. We would listen. We would believe our kids when they tell us who they are. And then we'd let them know that they are wonderful and they are loved just the way they are. I want that for others because it's also what I want for myself -- to be accepted for who I am. Isn't that what we all want?”
“The difference between being your kid's best friend and being their ally is the difference between being nice and being kind; the first is about a desire to be liked and the second is about a deeper desire to make a positive, lasting difference in someone's life. My job is not to be liked by my kids. And I don't take it personally when my kids don't like me, because their well-being is more important to me than their opinion of me. My hope is that if I raise them well, with enough love and structure, then one day they'll grow up to be the kind of good and decent people I have the privilege of calling friends.”
“This is so important that I wish I could grab every single one of you by the shoulders, look you in the eye, and say it to you over and over again until it starts to sink it: Please choose to give yourself more credit than criticism and more grace than judgment. You deserve it. And it will change you.”
“I wasn't a big reader growing up, much to the dismay of my scholarly parents. My father once risked his life in a plane crash because he refused to slide down the emergency exit without first grabbing his books. He was the last passenger to exit the plane, clinging to his bag of books. But I didn't inherit my father's addiction to reading. I had always been too antsy to sit still with a book. Or to sit still at all! Until one day, I wasn't.”
“No matter what you're facing, failure never has to be the end of a sentence. You can always put a nice bold comma on that disaster, take a breath, and continue right on. Hold on, but don't hold still. Keep turning the pages of your story until you reach an easier chapter, and you just might end up somewhere better than where you started. With a fresh, unexpired Starbucks pastry. And enough hope to spare.”
“Being a mother of young children means you spend a lot of your energy thinking about what other people need. You're always wiping something for somebody or cutting something for somebody. When you finally make your way to the soothing blank bottom of an empty sink, it's almost inevitable that you'll blink and the sink will be full again. It's like some reverse Sorcerer's Apprentice trick, only instead of having the soaring beauty of the Philadelphia Orchestra as backup, your soundtrack is provided by toddlers banging away with spoons on pots and pans.”
“When I was nineteen years old, I was babysitting a little five-year-old girl. She kept drawing picture after picture, and as I saw there watching her draw, I asked, "Do you want to be an artist when you grow up?"
"What do you mean?"
"An artist," I replied. "Is that what you want to be when you grow up?"
She looked at me, confused, and said, "But I already am an artist."
She was right. She didn't need to wait to grow up in order to be an artist. She already was one. Childhood is not a rehearsal for life; childhood is life and children are already whole people.”
“Part of the process of getting to know my children is helping them figure out what they're passionate about. And when I say passionate, I don't mean just, "What do you love?" I also want to know, "What angers you? What angers you about the world? What breaks your heart?" Pay attention to all the strong emotions, whether they're good or bad, because intensity shows how genuinely they care about something. If I can get my kids to pinpoint what really makes them *feel* and then combine that with who they are-- hyper, talkative, patient, great at math--I can help them begin to map out what they're meant to do with their lives.”
“We are taught from girlhood to be nice and to protect other people's feelings, even at the expense of our own well-being. We learn, by example, that we are supposed to cater to everyone else around us. We cater to the men in our lives. We cater to our children. We cater to our friends. We cater to strangers. Does everyone have what they need? Is everyone feeling good and doing great? I address the concerns of others without even thinking, as automatically as a reflex, but when it comes to taking care of myself I have to pause and remember to ask myself, *Wait, do I have everything I need? Am I feeling good and doing great?*”