Kristin Newman Quotes

Kristin Newman
  • Kristin Newman

  • Born: The United States.

  • Description: This is a "25 Things About Me" exercise I did for Facebook about five years ago that Facebook recently regave me. I provide it to you now:

    1.) I am doing this exercise solely to procrastinate. Other activities done for this purpose today: plucking eyebrows, walking to Pinkberry rather than driving, making a To Do List when I really only have like 3 things to do, which doesn't require a list to remember.

    2.) I've spent most of my life careening between having the highest self-esteem in the world, and the lowest.

    3.) I have been more peaceful for the last two months than ever before in my life.

    4.) When I decided to become a comedy writer, my uncle said, "Huh. I never thought of you as funny."

    5.) This week I had a fantasy about Barack and Michelle doing it. In the fantasy, I was not there. That's how attractive they are.

    6.) I have never had braces or glasses. I would be a very expensive racehorse to breed with.

    7.) I have injured my right foot the last two New Year's in a row. Which makes me less attractive as breeding stock.

    8.) I moved by myself to Argentina to study spanish and tango. The happiest moment of my life was alone on top of a mountain there.

    9.) My mom says my problem is I've received too much love, so I don't appreciate it enough when it presents itself to me.

    10.) I was an only child until I was 18, and now I am one of seven.

    11.) Getting on a plane fixes anything for me.

    12.) I love traveling alone because of all of the people you meet, with girlfriends because of all of the men you meet, and with boyfriends so you always have someone to shag when you find yourself in a romantic, secluded spot that makes you hate your girlfriends and yourself when you find yourself there in the other situations.

    13.) I can fake a perfect accent in any language, even if I only know 2 words, well enough to make locals start speaking a million miles an hour to me in that language.

    14.) My personality is literally wearing out my vocal chords.

    15.) I grew up going to musical theater camp. The first time I went to third base (over the boxers) was with a guy wearing eyeliner.

    16.) I crush easily, and love rarely.

    17.) I decided to go paragliding with the flu, and threw up mid-air on myself and my paragliding instructor, Swiss Dave.

    18.) Until I was 18, I thought politics and hiking were super boring. Now I like both.

    19.) I have a Chinese cat who lived in my apartment before I did. He let me stay, so I brought him to my house. I think he is someone who was madly in love with me in a past life reincarnated as a fucking loud animal.

    20.) I have no phobias, and kind of think they are ridiculous and fake. Just get over it!

    21.) I always felt the same way about allergies. Then I found out that I am apparently highly allergic to all of California (which is not helping out my worn-out vocal chords.) I do not know what to do with this information and my theory.

    22.) I am super social and need to be around people. But I am an only child, so I only like to be around people until I need to immediately be alone.

    23.) I can make bitchy girls who are tense about their men like me.

    24.) I was a ski bum in Colorado for a year, which was where I waited enough tables and tuned enough skis to learn that location and love are not all that matter in life. That's when I started to work.

    25.) I still have things to achieve, but I have no major regrets. If I died tomorrow, I'd feel like I did it right.

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