Quotes by Dorothy Parker

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."

"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."

Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp,
Acids stain you,
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses give,
Gas smells awful.
You might as well live."

"In youth, it was a way I had,
To do my best to please.
And change, with every passing lad
To suit his theories.

But now I know the things I know
And do the things I do,
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you."

"The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue."


Books by Dorothy Parker

  • Complete Stories
  • 2,565 ratings
  • December 31st 2002 by Penguin Classics

    (first published 1924)

Dorothy Parker
  • Dorothy Parker

  • Date of birth: August 22, 1893
  • Died: June 07, 1967
  • Born: in Long Branch, New Jersey, The United States.

  • Description: Librarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads data base.

    Dorothy Parker was an American writer, poet and critic best known for her caustic wit, wisecracks, and sharp eye for 20th century urban foibles. From a conflicted and unhappy childhood, Parker rose to acclaim, both for her literary output in such venues as The New Yorker and as a founding member of the Algonquin Round Table. Following the breakup of the circle, Parker traveled to Hollywood to pursue screenwriting. Her successes there, including two Academy Award nominations, were curtailed as her involvement in left-wing politics led to a place on the Hollywood blacklist.
    Dismissive of her own talents, she deplored her reputation as a "wisecracker." Nevertheless, her literary output and reputation for her sharp wit have endured.